Courier Vs
by BlueButterFinger
Summary: Courier on a rampage through other universes with his luck on one side and his trusty medicine higher then it needs to be. Let him have his fun. First chapter might feel to fast but just wanted to get the background out of the way.
1. Chapter 1

"Gaaaah…,"

A fist quickly met the side of the screamers silencing the person. The now silent screamer was a man dressed in various leather belts with a tire on his left shoulder for some unknown reason. This would be the part where this man's other clothes and features would be mentioned but other than a shaved badly bruised head the man had no other limbs. There were stumps where his arms and legs should have been but they had been cauterized. This man had once been a part of "the fiend", the most savage and insane group in the wastelands.

He had been minding his own business in the wastes raping and killing anyone in his path, when he was jumped then promptly had his limbs cut off. It all happened at once that he didn't even notice the other fiends with him on the ground not that he really cared. Mojave fiend handbook stated always be a selfish son of a bitch…. well the fiend didn't really know if it said that because he couldn't read but that's what he imagined it said. Now, that he thought about it no one in the fiends could read and write so how did someone make a fiend handbook. Pain shot through the fiend as a blade split his stomach open before he started to go numb.

"Oops, almost forgot to inject you with painkillers. I don't need you dying from the pain,"

The drugged fiend struggled to lift his head to see his tormenter but couldn't dropping his head back onto the hard surface he was on. But, if he could have no amount of drugs would have stopped him from flailing around like a mad man in an effort to get away. The person that had opened him up was none other than the most infamous man alive, "The Courier". The Courier had once been an insignificant up and comer before being shot in the head and then in less than a year had become the most feared and hardest to kill person in the wastes. While, many had seen his face around the wastes and even made deals with the man to run some contraband or supplies the man that came back from being shot in the noggin wasn't the same. The name Benny had become the most hated name in the Mojave for creating the Courier.

"Fuukckc, Beeenie,"

"Yeah, I hear you pal. That guy was an ass,"

The Courier was tall tanned man with short stocky hair that looked like it had been cut with a knife and had on a pair of black shades. He was dressed in his elite riot gear a.k.a "the greatest armor in all the waste," it was only matched by some of the best power armor and even then it gave those a run for their money. It consisted of a dark green duster with shoulder plates, armored knee guards, clothing that could withstand small arm fire, military boots, and a chest plate. The best part in the courier's opinion was that it had pouches and bandolier as reloading weapons was difficult with the pip-boy. The pockets where more for the couriers piece of mind as he swears that he's put stuff in the pip-boy only to never find it again. The elite riot gear helmet with its gas mask attachment, red night vision lenses, and flashlight was placed on a small medical stand with several medical tools.

"Thank Luck, I really thought this would be messier but your blood is more like sludge than actual blood. But, common your blood is literally oozing out not spraying but oozing,"

The Courier had feared that he didn't have the necessary medical clothing for operating because who really wanted the blood of disgusting piece of shit on them. It would make him look more intimidating to have blood splattered all over his clothing but for all he knew fiend blood could have been acid. Of course, the medical mind of the courier knew that wasn't possible but fucks if he knew where the fiend had been. The Mojave was a strange place….fuck that it's the most luckdamn breaker of the rules of life with the most unexplained shit happening all the time. But, enough of that the Courier was currently staring at intact radscorpion egg in the fiends stomach. He had half a mind to burn the fiend he couldn't for science and all that shit.

The Courier a.k.a Courier had been experimenting on fiends to find a way to make them into a power source. Most would say you can't turn people into living batteries or that's not ethical and they would be right if the fiends could be considered human or if they weren't in the Mojave. He had brought them to the big empty after upgrading the transponder with the think tanks help to be able to transport at least 2 people. He located his surgery to a small morgue in the bottom of the tower as he only had control of half the big empty with the rest still being overrun with pests. The chances of making it the proper facilities with the fiend alive were slim and his luck seemed to only extend to him.

"Ash, I'm done for the day. There plenty of fiends still out there, I mean destroy their base and suddenly they multiple. I'm pretty sure there supposed to disappear not somehow increase. Doesn't matter anyway pretty sure he's dead,"

The fiend had actually died from blood loss or sludge loss seeing as how all the fiends blood just pooled in stomach. Courier was pretty sure that if he let the corps here it would create a toxic fume as the fiends blood was currently giving off fumes. He quickly put on his helmet and sprinted out the door hitting a red button as the automatic door closed. The sound of fire could be heard as Courier made his way to see the think tank. 'Good ol' ore-war paranoia have flamethrowers installed into every room even the bathroom'. That was especially useful for whenever Boone came to visit that man could turn a bathroom into a nuclear testing ground. He almost had taken the transponder he gave to Boone over that incident which he only gave out to a few people mostly his companions.

He was a foot away from the door that led to the think tank's main lab before he heard a large argument coming from inside. He debated going inside there but they were more trouble to deal with when angry so he would come back another day. They were probably arguing on way to get bodies for themselves. It had been decided that the think tank would re-build their bodies because they didn't want to live as over-sized bowls and the Courier strongly encouraged them too. In his opinion, a body was a much better experience then living in a bowl just ask his brain that he stuffed back into his head.

"I should probably see how President Boone is doing,"

Boone, Cass, Rex, and Veronica were the only companions he had left after the battle of Hoover dam. They still kept in touch after the battle but something changed that day and after he came back from the divide he really only talked to Boone on a regular basis. That was of course when Boone wasn't busy being president. Funny story behind that after the battle with the legate and Courier taking control of Vegas turning it into a heaven compared to the rest of the Mojave it inspired Boone. Courier and the brotherhood which was run by Veronica after Courier at gunpoint made them put her in charge literally that was all it took for the great brotherhood to change its way had supported Boones run for President. The NCR didn't too much convincing after hearing one of their best and the man that killed the legate was running. That was a rumor the courier had Vegas start to help get Boone better known. The citizens of the NCR didn't mind too much as they heard Boone was allies with the ruler of Vegas and leader of the brotherhood. The current regime did have some problems but they all met unfortunate accident and that's the funny part as Courier literally had nothing to do with those accidents. Those accident were all in truth actually accidents and no one really cared afterwards. The Boone regime was one of change and prosperity for the NCR.

Courier got onto the balcony of the tower after saying his goodbyes to the kitchenware and other machines (It still bothered the Courier that he was friends with a toaster hell bent on world destruction. There are just something's a lucky mass-murdering doctor whose job is his name can't even understand). A cool feature of the new transponder was that he could teleport not only to the big empty but also any active transponder. That reason is why the Courier found himself head first in a toilet which thank luck hadn't been used since its last cleaning. Courier kicked the stall door before tumbling out drenched in toilet water. He heard a snicker and the toilet flushing as the stall door opened to reveal Boone in a suit with his trademark shades on.

"I knew you were a piece of shit but common a toilet really,"

"I think there's toilet water in my helmet. AAk. I think my lunch is coming up. Ah, I need drugs,"

Boone swiftly snatched the super courier "Mentats" before he could stab himself with them. See in their travels together the Courier found that by crushing Mentats and injecting those into your bloodstream that you could induce wipe short term memory loss but the memories would eventually come back to you. He didn't want the Courier to have his memories comeback in the middle of a fire fight that nearly got them both killed. It also had to do with the fact that he seemed to have also injected them in self as shortly after his memories of seeing two radscorpions came back in the very same fire fight. The was the last time he went on the Couriers "FOR SCIENCE" campaigns in which the Courier would go off and learn about whatever crazy thing had happened to pop in his head.

"I told you no more of these things. Don't need you to suddenly go insane in public place because of some disturbing repressed memory. Also, I'm the president can't be seen with someone doing drugs even if half the legislation in on drugs,"

"Oh, that's why that one lady politician started feeling me up during the last time I was here on business,"

"No, that was just Becky and she does that often,"

"You sure. She was whisper some pretty...fantastical…..words in my ear. I mean just whoa only someone high up the wazzu can come up with some of that stuff,"

Their conversation had moved them to Boones off which thanks to the brotherhood of steel was the safest place in the presidential building. Boone had also pulled out a bottle of whisky and started pouring them some drinks. After, becoming President Boone had gained a sudden liking to all forms of alcohol and kept a bottle literally everywhere.

Clink.." that nice almost makes me feel like I'm not going to barf any second now,"

"Just don't get it on the carpet…..Ok now I feel like shooting myself after saying that,"

"Nah, Its fine just means you relaxing. Worrying about the mundane shit and not the ass end of nowhere that was paranoia in the wastes,"

"About, that as much as I would like to catch up something has come up. And, by something I mean you're probably going to go kill someone,"

The Courier sighed before heading out to the small balcony outside Boone's office. It almost always came down to Courier need to killing someone. Boone wouldn't ask if anyone else could do it but the only qualified people were himself and Courier or a squad of the NCR best.

"I would say I was asking but I'm not this is important can't have you taking your time on this one. It seems the legion go there hands on a nuclear missile outside of the Mojave, a ranger followed a legion convey to a silo from the old world. Now, I don't think we can spare more than a day with the legion not being the brightest it could take them longer but I'm sure first chance they'll get there going to hit here or Vegas so-"

"You know I knew my luck would run out one day. But, I was always knew it was going to be on my own terms,"

"Courier, what are you-Shit,"

Boone had come out to the balcony only to find the Courier pointing to the east. A large object was streaking through the sky looking like; it was struggling to stay up. It was the missile, the reason he gave himself a day was because he didn't think that the legion was stupid enough to launch a missile that had failed to launch during the Great War. The missile would level NCR capital, whose name had yet to be decided. It was in the middle of old world California meaning the fallout would be immense maybe even destroying enough of the NCR where the legion would have easy picking. This was probably how the last old world president felt but this time he had no way of retaliating.

"I'm The MOTHERFUCKIN Courier. I go out when I want go out not because some band of men wearing loincloths wants me too. Boone take care of Rex for me and tell the think tank that I have a file that might help them under the name "Body bag". You have always been better with words then I have and for a while all you did was grunt so tell Veronica and Cass what they need to hear,"

"Courier you can get out…"

"I know. I saw what those weapons did in the divide. I might have once just grabbed your ass kicking and all to safety but FUCK THE OLD WORLD. War never changes. I say FUCK THAT. No one could stop that many large missiles maybe not even one but I repeat I'm the courier. So, I'll show the old world what the Mojave very own weapon of mass badassery can do,"

Black smoke had started to rise off Courier as he started his angry speech didn't inspire any confidence for any but himself. The Courier turned to look at him and to red dots were staring him in the face. The divide had changed Courier as after he came back there was never a time that he didn't have something covering his eyes. Black smoke would occasionally start to rise if the Courier was ever extremely mad. It wasn't anger, Boone realized as Courier fiddled with his transponder. They only had a couple minutes left as Boone looked between them and the missile. It was hate that the courier felt as whatever he had seen or done in the divide instilled a hate in him...No he was already full of hate since the moment they met. The Courier didn't do things out of the goodness of his own heart but out of the hate. He helped people because he hated people who didn't, he hated House for sending him to his death, he hated the legion because they learned nothing after the Great War, and he hate Benny because he was born from hate. The man that had been the courier hadn't left abying for him but the moment he was reborn only pure hatred was left over.

The courier flashed out as he finished with his fiddling and nothing happened. Boone continued to watch the missile even when NCR troops come in ready evacuate him as quickly as possible. The missile had passed a small hill two miles out from the NCR capital when it happened. The Missile heaved upward as of willed by some unknown force or that's would it probably looked like to everyone else. Boone watched as the missile that had once been struggling to keep going was enveloped by black smoke before exploding. The force of the explosion could be felt but the explosion itself was gone.

The Courier was dead.

"NO MORE…."

Before the sentence could be finished an explosion knocked the speaker and everyone present back.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello, Friends! ButterFinger here asking you guys to please leave feedback if somethings unclear or doesn't seem right overall make sense. It helps me as a writer and you the reader by making my stories a much more enjoyable experience.**

Wanda Maximoff, the scarlet witch had been on the brink of causing an event that would resound throughout the universe. She had come to the conclusion that mutant-kind was the source of her problems and what better way to use her reality bending powers by getting rid of mutants the source of her despair. The Avengers (Wolverine, Spider-man, , Cyclops, Captain America Etc.) and Magneto would have failed to stop her with the former having planned to kill her allowing for a chain of events in the future that would bring the world to its knees. It all would have happened if it weren't for the meddling being known as the Courier.

The explosion knocked back everyone but only inflicted minor if any injury as it has more noise than powerful. It had also caught most of them off guard as it had been a high pressure situation only to interrupted by a random explosion, even for hero's there were still things that surprised them. Magneto was the first to get himself together being someone that didn't usually lose his composure only seeing the dirt that the explosion kicked up. It was a brief second that gave him an extra glimpse of a hulking black blob in the brown cloud and the red eyes that were staring right at him.

Everyone had seen the black blob and only Magneto having seen the glowing red eyes, but that was still enough for everyone else to get into battle stance. No was going to strike first without knowing who or what the black blob was. The dust settled and whatever they expected or imagined was completely thrown out the window.

"MY SPLEEN!"

A man in a green duster and a helmet that was mix between a gas mask and old world war 2 helmets was currently holding on to his back where anyone with medical knowledge knew was not where the spleen was located. He then proceeded to roll around on the ground for a few seconds before stopping. Now if one were to track his line of sight they would see that he was currently ignoring the brightly and strangely dressed individuals in favor of a tree.

"A TREE. That's a tree. Oh my things I can't repeat because I promised Veronica that I would expand my vocabulary past curse words that is a tree,"

No one other than the man himself really understood the significance of what he was saying. He had seen trees before, but the important part was those trees looked sickly or artificial the tree he was looking at was a type of green that looked both natural and healthy. It was a miracle which wasn't all that new to the man but that was beside the point. Those present were deeply disturbed as the man in the duster looked quite menacing only to adopt a child like attitude. Magento seeing metal and tired if this interruption used his powers on the man in an attempt to silence him. Expect, he couldn't feel the metal it was if something was negating his power over the metal on the man.

"Impossible!"

"I would suggest that all of you stand down before any gets hurt,"

"Cap. I think were past the point of diplomacy,"*Snik*

Captain America acknowledged that Wolverine might be right, but this new development might work in their favor. This stranger had stopped whatever Wanda had been about to do and from Magneto outburst it seemed the stranger was immune to the master of metals powers. It also helped that the situation had shut up spider-man for the moment which increased the odds of ending this diplomatically from unlikely to maybe. It was only a few moments later that the captain would realize how wrong he was. The man was now focused on the them.

"I don't know what grandpa over there was trying to do, but I felt it and boy did I not like it. Also, midget with claws over there is making me uncomfortable so I'll have to decline,"

It was then that all chaos broke loose as the man's idea of declining was to pull out two 12.7mm sub-machine guns and start shooting at them. Magento promptly used his mastery over metal to incapacitate the avengers and the man except he met the same negation of his powers from trying to control the bullets.

"Avengers scatter, take out the lunatic with the guns and retrieve Wanda,"

While, the Captain knew that half of them wanted to kill Wanda and would be given the chance it was the best he could do. Hopefully, one of the avengers who didn't want to kill would get to her first. Spider-man who was about to get Wanda was forced to dodge away by a very angry Quicksilver. He would rather not fight a former avenger (?) or another avenger as he didn't know if Quicksilver was still on the team.

The man with the sub machine guns was currently shooting with deadly accuracy even if it looked like he was shooting randomly the only problem was that everyone he was shooting at either didn't seem all too fazed or dodged. And, if he was back where he was from his companions would be yelling at him to use Vats and he would if he wasn't currently fighting humans with superpowers. Vats gave him accuracy not the sudden ability to shoot humans with bulletproof skin and to contrary belief didn't give him the ability to stop time or slow it down. He ducked as a man dressed as a flag tried to hit him with a right hook. He gave flag man a good kick sending flag man a few feet back before releasing bullet hell against the man.

It was then a woman dressed in an incredibly revealing costume with a lightning bolt shot him with an energy blast. The blast destroyed the sub-machine gun in his left hand before he concentrated his fire on the women only having them ping off her. He dodged to the left before switching his sub-machine gun with his laser rifle and firing that to see if that had any effect. It did, but not the one he was expecting or hoping for as the energy beams were absorbed making her more powerful if her flexing was any indication.

"I needed that. I would say Thank you, but I'm about to beat you into unconsciousness,"

"I would some sexual innuendo, but I have feeling this is going to hurt,"

"Smart man,"

lightning bolt women launched herself towards the man intent to end this only to be slammed into the ground with the strength that could match the hulk the man had switched his laser rifle for a metal glove with a high-powered piston referred to as the Power fist (GRA) that made his already boulder cracking punches even stronger. She was fast, but not Vats fast it seemed.

"For you. Oops, might have forgotten to mention that,"

It seemed the rest of the supers as he was going to start calling they had left him with lightning lady thinking she was enough. It seemed the man that was controlling metal and speedy had moved the fight a good distance away. It was the perfect time to escape, but he midget with claws who had been previously blown away by metal master somehow was making his way towards the red dressed women who had done nothing since the fight started. It was in a moment of heroism that only happened to the man a few times that he decided not to late the women become a shishkabob if the menacing way the midget with claws was currently walking indicated.

"Wanda as much as I don't want to do this you're too dangerous to be left alive,"

"I know Logan,"

Logan brought up his hands in a downward position to end this in one strike to the currently kneeling Wanda only to be sent flying.

"OK, my fault probably shouldn't have done that, but that shit hit to close too home,"

"Whaa?"

"Lady, It's in great confidence as a doctor that I can tell you that stupidity leads to death. So, I would like to slap you to make you realize how stupid you are and my papi taught me its rude to slap a lady without asking first,"

"I don-" *SLAP*

It was two seconds after the man had slapped that he realized he made a mistake. It took another 10 seconds to realize that stupidity really did lead to death as he sailed through the sky and that it also hurt like hell. 5 seconds after that, he swore to himself he was never touching a woman again. A millisecond after he realized he was kidding himself and that probably wasn't going to happen. It was as he slammed into Magneto and Quicksilver knocking all three them into a pile that he would later realize how lucky he was because if Wanda didn't kill him for slapping her the two men he hadn't slammed into the probably would have.

"Sometimes I wish I named myself Dave because bad shit never happens to people named Dave,"


End file.
